I survived the first 2 full weeks of OTA school. SIIGHHHHHHHHHH.
Trying to verbalize the journey so far would be like trying to describe a roller coaster to someone without a body. “You go up, You go way way down, you’re laughing, you feel like you’re gonna throw up, then you’re excited, then you’re terrified…” You get the point.
Crying hasn’t been my go-to coping mechanism of choice for the last few years, but I think its time to get re-acquainted with the waterworks. There’s nothing like a quick meltdown of bad feelings released all at once to get you back into gear and ready for the next obstacle. Because they just keep coming and coming.
The funny thing is, I knew in my head all of these things would happen. I could have told you before day one that I was eventually going to feel isolated from the rest of humanity and a little bit like I’m slipping into madness, but feeling those things is just plain rough. I’m slowly learning to practice counting my blessings and taking life moment by moment. One day at a time isn’t sufficient anymore. I’m realizing my need for moment-by-moment grace and provision in this ridiculous season.
Jesus didn’t teach us to obsess over the future. His desire for us was to simply focus on today. “Give us this day our daily bread.” Trust today. In this moment. Find what I need in Him and draw strength from His abundance, but don’t hoard it. Use what I need for right now, and save tomorrow’s troubles for tomorrow.
So in this moment, I am so grateful that I have the love and support of “my people”. I am so grateful that I can get a good education, something that too many women in the world aren’t given access to. I am so grateful that my income can be put on hold while I’m in school. I am so grateful for coffee and a brain that has already learned so much these past 2 weeks.
And I am especially grateful for these two, who put a smile on my face every morning, whether I feel prepared to face the day ahead or not.
Bring on week 3! I’m maybe kind of a little bit but probably not actually ready at all.