Traumatized.

Here’s a little anecdote to give you a pre-weekend chuckle.

I took my good friend Leena out to dinner last night. Leena had a baby 2 months ago, and hasn’t seen a whole lot of the outside world since, as many new moms don’t. I thought it would be fun to take her on a girly date, so we went to this adorable little french/american restaurant close to my neighborhood.

We sipped pinot noir until we got our dinner. She had ordered a steak, I ordered chicken, and when the food showed up I dropped my knife while unrolling the silverware from my cloth napkin.

Let me set the stage a big: Small, quiet restaurant with about 10 tables total. Stained concrete floors. LOUD clang when I dropped my heavy knife onto the floor.

When I scrambled to pick it up off the ground before it would be considered socially unacceptable to use the floor-knife to cut my dinner (I am disgusting) I felt 2 of the legs of my chair slide.

In one split second, I somehow went from sneakily leaning over to quickly pluck my knife off the floor to LAYING ON THE FLOOR OF THE RESTAURANT WITH MY CHAIR ON TOP OF ME. I am literally laughing out loud as I write this thinking back on how epic of a fall I had. I just pray someone secretly got it on tape for Youtube viewers’ enjoyment. The restaurant was completely silent, and every. single. eye. was fixed on the pathetic girl writhing around on the ground of a perfectly decent and respectable cafe. Mortifying.

So, to make matters worse (or better? Haven’t decided) random restaurant guy across the room decided to pipe in during the awkward silence and yell “Someone get this girl another drink!!”

No one laughed. Asshole.

So, in case on this Friday you find yourself feeling like the butt of someone’s joke, just remember the girl who **soberly** plummeted out of her chair last night. And feel a little bit better.

Happy Weekend, folks.

2 thoughts on “Traumatized.

  1. mondoandpeach says:

    oh my goodnesssss. I laughed a lot just reading this. I’m glad that guy yelled out a terrible joke, made the story way better 🙂 Also, i’m glad you didn’t stab yourself.

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